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I will assault you with sweetness.

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Jul
4th
Fri
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(via jennyalison)

Jenny- I’m starting to think that you’re the best friend I never knew I had. We are soooooooo on the same party line.

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Saw Wall-E Last Night

I think everyone ended up seeing Wall-E in the last week or so. I’ve been so stressed lately that I really wanted to let my mind relax and enjoy something simple and cute, which worked out since there was almost no talking in the whole movie. Just a lot of “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall-e” talk and “Eeeeeeeeeeeeve-a” talk (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve seen it).

Yesterday I had my introductory session with my life coach. I don’t have a lot to say about it yet, but the whole thing kind of scared me shitless. I guess taking your life back into your own hands can be a daunting thought. This is a big committment to myself, and I’m going to stick with it because, hey, at this point, I really don’t think it could hurt. I already have a “homework” assignment, and I’m not sure how I feel about that only because it’s the type of assignment that I hate. The kind of “personality” quiz that you’d have to take at a job interview. You know like circle all the traits that are important to you and then rank them from 1-10. Then they’re supposed to be able to tell something about your personality? I just happen to think that all those words are just really relative and don’t mean much and don’t want to be judged by them. Hopefully, in the end, I will find that I can have my cake and eat it too.

Jul
2nd
Wed
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what's new is old

It’s interesting how women will buy an item of clothing and not wear it even for a year or so, but not want to get rid of it either. Or, there’s the situation where you haven’t worn something in quite some time but refuse to get rid of the item because you’re thinking either that you know you’ll fit in it again and or you feel like you’ll be able to figure out a new way to wear it.

This week, I finally figured out how to wear this dress that I bought a year ago. I bought it because I really liked the print and at the time, I was a tanning junkie so I thought that anything looked good on me. It was a new experience. But it did not fit me well. I spilled out of the top, I didn’t like the spaghetti straps and the flow of the dress made me look like I was pregnant, and even though someone like Kate Hudson can make that empire waist look work, I just don’t even want to go there.

But yesterday I really wanted to wear a dress and I also wanted to wear something new. So I took it out of my closet. My first thought was that I’d really love this dress if it wasn’t so “maternicized” in the mid section. So I hunted around the house for a safety pin so I could pin it. All I could find was this crazy rhinestone giant pin that was on a winter sweater but by pairing the dress with a short black cardigan, I was able to hide the ugly pin. The cardigan also helped to create a smaller/tighter waistline that helped decrease the “pregnant” look.

Now that I think about it, I did get the dress at Target, and I always find myself liking the maternity clothes there, so it very well could have been something I mistakenly picked up in the maternity section. We’ll never know!

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If you want to know more about Dabrowski (and you should), you can do so here. I just find this incredibly interesting.

A very brief sketch of Dabrowski’s theory.

by W. Tillier

Four seminal quotes set the stage:

1). “Personality: A self-aware, self-chosen, self-affirmed, and self-determined unity of essential individual psychic qualities. Personality as defined here appears at the level of secondary integration” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 301).

2). “The propensity for changing one’s internal environment and the ability to influence positively the external environment indicate the capacity of the individual to develop. Almost as a rule, these factors are related to increased mental excitability, depressions, dissatisfaction with oneself, feelings of inferiority and guilt, states of anxiety, inhibitions, and ambivalences - all symptoms which the psychiatrist tends to label psychoneurotic. Given a definition of mental health as the development of the personality, we can say that all individuals who present active development in the direction of a higher level of personality (including most psychoneurotic patients) are mentally healthy” (Dabrowski, 1964, p. 112).

3). “Intense psychoneurotic processes are especially characteristic of accelerated development in its course towards the formation of personality. According to our theory accelerated psychic development is actually impossible without transition through processes of nervousness and psychoneuroses, without external and internal conflicts, without maladjustment to actual conditions in order to achieve adjustment to a higher level of values (to what ‘ought to be’), and without conflicts with lower level realities as a result of spontaneous or deliberate choice to strengthen the bond with reality of higher level” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 220).

4). “Psychoneuroses ‘especially those of a higher level’ provide an opportunity to ‘take one’s life in one’s own hands’. They are expressive of a drive for psychic autonomy, especially moral autonomy, through transformation of a more or less primitively integrated structure. This is a process in which the individual himself becomes an active agent in his disintegration, and even breakdown. Thus the person finds a ‘cure’ for himself, not in the sense of a rehabilitation but rather in the sense of reaching a higher level than the one at which he was prior to disintegration. This occurs through a process of an education of oneself and of an inner psychic transformation. One of the main mechanisms of this process is a continual sense of looking into oneself as if from outside, followed by a conscious affirmation or negation of conditions and values in both the internal and external environments. Through the constant creation of himself, though the development of the inner psychic milieu and development of discriminating power with respect to both the inner and outer milieus - an individual goes through ever higher levels of ‘neuroses’ and at the same time through ever higher levels of universal development of his personality” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 4).

These quotes capture the heart of Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration. The theory describes a process of personality development - the creation of a unique, individual personality.

Most people become socialized in their early family and school experiences. They largely accept the values and mores of society with little question and have no internal conflict in abiding by the basic tenents of society. In some cases, a person begins to notice and to imagine ‘higher possibilities’ in life. These disparities are driven by overexcitability — an intense reaction to, and experience of the day-to-day stimuli of life. Eventually, one’s perception of reality becomes differentiated into a hierarchy and all aspects of both external and internal life come to be evaluated on a vertical continuum of ‘lower versus higher.’ This experience often creates a series of deep and painful conflicts between lower, ‘habitual’ perceptions and reactions based on one’s heredity and environment (socialization) and higher, volitional ‘possibilities.’ In the developing individual, these conflicts may lead to disintegrations and psychoneuroses, for Dabrowski, hallmarks of advanced growth. Eventually, through the processes of advanced development and positive disintegration, one is able to develop control over one’s reactions and actions. Eventually, development culminates in the inhibition and extinction of lower levels of reality and behavior and their transcendence via the creation of a higher, autonomous and stable ideal self. The rote acceptance of social values yields to a critically examined and chosen hierarchy of values and aims that becomes a unique expression of the self — becoming one’s personality ideal.

Dabrowski acknowledged the strong and primitive influence of heredity (the first factor) and the robotic, dehumanizing (and de-individualizing) role of the social environment (the second factor). He also described a third factor of influence, a factor emerging from but surpassing heredity - “its activity is autonomous in relation to the first factor (hereditary) and the second (environmental) factor. It consists in a selective attitude with regard to the properties of one’s own character and temperament, as well as, to environmental influences” (Dabrowski, 1973, p. 80). The third factor is initially expressed when a person begins to resist their lower impulses and the habitual responses characteristic of socialization. Emerging autonomy is reflected in conscious and volitional choices toward what a person perceives as ‘higher’ in their internal and external milieus. Over time, this ‘new’ conscious shaping of the personality comes to reflect an individual ‘personality ideal,’ an integrated hierarchy of values describing the sense of whom one wants to be and how one wants to live life. With the new freedom and force of the third factor, a person can see and avoid the lower in life and transcend to higher levels. The ‘ought to be’ of life can replace ‘the what is.’ It is important to realize that this is not simply an actualization of oneself as is; it involves tremendous conscious work in differentiating the higher and lower in the self and in moving away from lower selfish and egocentric goals toward an idealized image of how ‘you ought to be.’

The idealized self is consciously constructed based on both emotional and cognitive foundations. Emotion and cognition become integrated and are reflected in a new approach to life — feelings direct and shape ideas, goals and ideals, one’s ideals work to express one’s feelings. imagination is a critical component in this process — we can literally imagine how it ought to be and how could be in this establishes ideals to try to attain.

Initially, people who are acting on low impulses or who are simply robotically emulating society have little self conflict. Most conflicts are external. During development, the clash between one’s actual behavior and environment and one’s imagined ideals creates a great deal of internal conflict. This conflict literally motivates the individual to resolve the situation, ideally by inhibiting those aspects he or she considers lower and by accentuating those aspects he or she considers higher. At the highest levels, there is a new harmony of thought, emotion and action that eliminates internal conflict. The individual is behaving in accord with their own personality ideal and consciously derived value structure and therefore feels no internal conflict. Often a person’s external focus shifts to ‘making the world a better place.’

In describing development, Dabrowski elaborated five levels occurring in three basic phases. The first stage, Level I, involves an integrated but lower level expression of hereditary and social forces. Dabrowski referred to this as a unilevel or primary level. The individual experiences little inner conflict and is initially, largely unaware of the ‘higher possibilities of life.’ Phase two is characterized by the process of disintegration and psychoneuroses are common features of these levels (Levels II, III and IV). The familiar security of habit is shattered by doubts as the person comes to discover higher levels in life. The lower versus higher continuum signals a shift to the multilevel experience of life (Levels III and IV). The third phase, Level V, is the highest level, second integration, characterized by the expression of one’s unique and autonomous personality.

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Probably the cutest tote I’ve ever seen :)
jennyalison:

One of these as well.

Probably the cutest tote I’ve ever seen :)

jennyalison:

One of these as well.
Jul
1st
Tue
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When I grow up, I want to cook… be an explorer… repair broken bikes and cars…go fishing…travel on a magic carpet…make something new.

Capucine (via capucha)

I want to make something new too.

Jun
30th
Mon
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SO SWEET!
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3 Movie Characters I Identify With

  • Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)
  • Lloyd Dobler (Say Anything)
  • Dinky Bosetti (Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael)

I’m a dork. Obviously.

lovepuppy:

  • Sam (Garden State)
  • Alexander Supertramp/Christopher McCandless (Into the Wild) *real person
  • Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice) **book

lfarm:

  • Clementine Kruczynski (Eternal Sunshine)
  • Margot Tenenbaum (Royal Tenenbaums)
  • Emily Friehl (A Lot Like Love

tylerriewer:

  • Irwin Fletcher (Fletch)
  • Max Fischer (Rushmore)
  • Christopher McCandless (Into the Wild)
Jun
29th
Sun
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capucha:

mapage:

MUGGLESAM

Hahahah !! Oh my goodness, so much cuteness. Maybe I shouldn’t show this to Capucine, though :D

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Jenny - You have made my night with this!
jennyalison:
Dinosaurs anyone?

Jenny - You have made my night with this!

jennyalison:

Dinosaurs anyone?